misty Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I'm posting this from Oma and Opa's (my parents) log house here in the Piney Woods. Sorry I left on such a bad note. I've been on sleep inducing medication ever since and haven't been able to think very clearly. I had an allergic reaction to Tide detergent that almost stole my Christmas. My face became inflamed, my eyes almost swelled shut....finally went to the doctor on the 26th and had a steroid shot......much better but still feeling pretty yucky and just plain old ugly. Have any of you experienced being just disgustingly ugly? I haven't since I was 16 and caught chickenpox on our family vacation to California. I remember people would look at me, grimace and look away (most of the pox were on my face and scalp). I had never experienced this before and I think it has always given me a special soft spot in my heart for others who have some dabilitating look about them that cause people to shy away from them, withholding their affections and just human companionship. This Christmas reminded me of that time back when I was 16. I was sitting with my family, feeling lonely amongst all the gift chaos b/c I couldn't see (my glasses hurt to wear) and was too drowsy to comprehend half of what people were saying. (Benedryl) But, God showed me an awesome truth in that pain and lonliness. He was born as lowly as he could possibly be.....stinky cave/barn, laid in a feeding trough meant for animals not a sweet, tender newborn. Not born royalty but a common man to common parents. Jesus then went on to have a ministry to the ugliest, foulest, commonist people. The ones we shun, the ones we think we are above and better than. Somehow, these thoughts comforted me as I flowed through and misted in and out of Christmas activities. It made me feel less lonely. God loves me no matter what, even in my swollen, ugliness.....and I should love those around me the same.......it's not about having trendy clothes, or the best haircut, the coolest car, perfect marriage, being a part of the "Christian Culture". You can be the stinkiest, drunkest, down and out person there is, living in the desert, not wanting to have anything to do with God and he still says to you, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 That message is for everyone....everyone. God loved the WORLD not just the beautiful perfect people. I'm still on drowsy meds, but I wanted to put down some of my thoughts here, so I don't lose them. Merry Christmas from a drowsy, but joyful mama in Texas.