Monday, November 3, 2008
Help me fix this
I forgot. I forgot to go outside today. I heard a bird singing a moment ago and realized that I hadn't seen the sun all day. My poor son. He's going to turn into a vampire at this rate. I said, "Wyatt, want to go outside and play?" He came running, looked at me and then turned and ran the other direction. I guess that answered my question. But then I heard his voice come padding down the hall, " Thoose. Thoose.....Mama....thoose." He had brought me his shoes. I kissed his sweet forehead, knelt and velcroed on his race-car-light-up shoes. I opened our big red door wide so he could climb out himself. He ran in the grass, fell in the holes that fill our yard and I smiled and chased his chubby self. "Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama" He kept chanting. What a wonderful word that is. It fills my heart with smiles and my eyes with tears. I heard a bird whooping in the tree right above us, felt the fall breeze, smelled a hint of fire smoke in the air and sighed with contentment. If nothing good ever happens to me again, I will have to remember this moment. Somehow I have to fix it like a photograph so I can gaze at it when times seem harsh. I have to remember this. I have to fix it somehow. God help me fix it fast...and good.....and never let go. Thoose, and multiple"mamas" and race-car-light-up shoes and little chubby legs that still need me to catch them when they lose balance. God, please, please help me fix this.