*Beware of Sappiness!
I was shopping in the grocery store with Wyatt yesterday. Walmart actually. I was trying hard to concentrate on my list and maneuver around the other buggies. Wyatt was doing his best to charm everyone around him. Everywhere we go people talk to him, pinch his cheeks, remark what a beautiful baby that he is. He eats it up and throws his charms around like it's the easiest thing in the world. I looked down at him sitting in the buggy seat and he gave me the *biggest* smile......and I felt so blessed. In that moment I felt so blissfully happy. I guess I haven't felt very happy in a while....still grieving I guess. My son's glowing smile made me feel so good. Things in life are always going wrong. I feel like one thing after another is always happening. But, we have food in the fridge, a warm house. I have a husband who loves me and would do anything for me. My dad fixed my car by the way. He used to own a paint and body business when I was a baby. It looks wonderful, even better than it did before. You would never be able to tell it was in an accident. He even got rid of the hail damage on my hood. He is so busy, but he took the time to do that for me.
I guess what I'm saying is that even with all the bad going on....and continuing to go on. I can still be thankful. Even when I feel sad and overwhelmed....(you know being a woman can be a real bummer. Sometimes I wonder why God gave us hormones) I know that I am loved and there is a purpose to my life. God has made me for a special reason and I can revel in that. I can swim in it until my fingers get all pruny. (I stole that from a Meg Ryan movie....can't remember which one) And I know and I rely on the promise that the more I go through the stronger I can be if I let God use it. (And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3,4) Perseverance is the hard part.....but I'd rather that than bitterness and negativity. I'd much rather gain character and hope. I mean at the end of my life I want to be that old lady down the street that all the little kids come and visit. I want to have soft skin, long grey hair and really, really wacky bright clothes. I don't want to live in a dark house with the blinds pulled shut, dust on everything and a made-up, tight face like Joan Rivers croaking out orders to my sad relatives and stinky cats. Not that I have anything against Ms. Rivers. I don't live in Holly wood and therefore don't feel the pressure to compete. She's probably *way* funnier than me too! Ok, I've said a lot here. Sometimes I just feel like I need to share a bit of my heart. Thanks for reading.