Thursday, September 4, 2008

reminders and couch camping

Yesterday was a hard day. I had so many reminders that I had lost my baby. From phone calls, to brochures, to being around a whole room of pregnant women. Even the lady who drew my blood at the hospital yesterday was super pregnant. I need to shop for a shower gift for a couple that Jon works with. I think I'll take Jon along with me.....don't really want to do that on my own. I really have been good. I've had my ups and downs. Yesterday was a down day. The ending was rather strange too. I went over to my friend Adriana's house. We were supposed to watch Roman Holiday (one of my favorites) but their connection was down.....so we watched Pearl Harbor....or I tried too. Wyatt was being really cute but really distracting. Thanks Adriana for entertaining us last night while Jon taught school! :0) We got home about 9pm (late night for Wyatt) and Jon had sealed the shower grout in our master bathroom. Oh pee-uuu! The smell was awful. We ending up camping out in the living room. Jon, in a sleeping bag and me on the couch. That was actually kind of fun. Anyway, all that to say things are better here in the Vashey house but both our hearts still hurt. This will probably be the last post about this. I don't want to dwell on it.....not stuff it....but not dwell on it.

4 comments:

Aimee said...

Do not let this be your last post on this! Aren't I bossy? LOL You need to get your feelings out and journaling is the best way. If you stop blogging about it, at least use a journal. It's not depressing; it's your life. Don't apologize for hurting!

We should probably meet so I do not feel so bad about bossing you around. ;-)

Kelly said...

I have to agree with Amiee, Leigh. To be honest, I still cry about the child that I lost. It's a deep wound, and it takes a long time to heal. I also completely understand about the pregnant women. I hated going back to the doctor's office. At first, they were really kind about it and didn't make me wait in the waiting room, but after the sonograms, they didn't seem to care anymore. Yet they keep calling you back for more blood tests. I had friends that were pregnant, and their joy was bittersweet to me. Believe me, I know how you feel. I am praying for you, and please, please don't keep your pain to yourself.

Kelly said...

Oh, by the way, yesterday I spent WAY more time with Conlan, and he's a happier child. We were virtually fitless. I understand that it is difficult, but 10 to 15 minutes of undivided attention seems to fix the problem. I also was just firm (timeouts work great with him) and he's getting better about the whole thing. When I slack off on the discipline, that's when he gets worse. Anyway, hope that helps!

Vashey Fam said...

Thanks ladies! I think what I meant is that I feel awkward talking about it for the whole blogging world to read...not that the whole blogging word reads my madness but some of my students do and student's parents do. So, I think I may keep this a little more private.